Another Werewolf Story
by chelle20
Summary: Harry is bitten by a werewolf. full summary inside. rated M for swearing. RR. Chapter 5 AND 6 are now up! WOO!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters- JK Rowling does. I am making NO. MONEY. WHATSOEVER from this story so please don't sue.**

**SUMMARY: Harry is not as he as he appears to be- in his 6th year (lets all pretend HBP doesn't exist) he is bitten by a werewolf. And just who this werewolf is, I hear you ask? Well, you'll just have to read to find out! Mahahahaha!**

"…" talking

'_thoughts'_

ANOTHER WEREWOLF STORY

CHAPTER 1

Harry was out in the Hogwarts grounds, feeling sorry for himself. He sat by a large oak tree next to the lake, lobbing stones in now and again. Every so often, a tentacle rose out of the water to lob a stone back when one was hit the giant squid on the head. When that happened, Harry had to dive out the way, as unfortunately the giant squid had very good aim.

The green eyed wonder was pissed off because Ron and Hermione had finally decided to get it together over the summer and were too wrapped up in themselves to hang out with Harry without making him feel rather sick as they constantly made goo- goo eyes at each other.

The other reason he was pissed off was because Ginny had dumped him. If that wasn't bad enough, she was now dating none other then Draco Malfoy AKA ferret boy.

Harry sighed as he looked up at the stars. It was getting dark. He'd better head back in or risk the wrath of Filch. He got up slowly and dusted himself down. As he did so, he cast one last look back at the lake. The full moon was out and it was reflecting on the waters surface making it look rather pretty. He threw the last stone he had in his hand then turned to leave as he did so he heard a twig break.

'_what the hell?'_ Harry drew his wand quickly from his pocket, "lumos" he muttered as he made his way towards the noise. _must stay calm…. What ever you do don't ran away like a sissy…'_

A werewolf stepped boldly out of the shadows of the forbidden forest from which it had been watching- and waiting for it's moment to strike. It growled baring its long pointed fangs, fur standing on end as it crouched down for a moment then started charging straight at Harry.

'_oh shit!'_ He turned around and started running blindly, not caring that he was heading towards the lake again, when suddenly a stone came whizzing towards him. There was no time to duck as the stone hit him squarely on the head. Hard.

The last thing he saw before he passed out was a tentacle waving in victory out of the water.

Authors note: well that's the first chappie out of the way. Please R&R and perhaps give me some ideas. Flames accepted. They "light my fire" lol.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters- JK Rowling does. I am making NO. MONEY. WHATSOEVER from this story so please don't sue.**

**SUMMARY: Harry is not as he as he appears to be- in his 6th year (lets all pretend HBP doesn't exist) he is bitten by a werewolf. And just who this werewolf is, I hear you ask? Well, you'll just have to read to find out! Mahahahaha!**

"…" talking

'_thoughts'_

ANOTHER WEREWOLF STORY

Chapter two

"Will he be alright?"

"I'm not sure, he was bitten quite badly, if the headmaster hadn't of found him he'd have been dead for sure".

'_oww!' _The boy who lived- again! Opened his eyes. Everything was all blurry.

"He's awake!" said a voice excitedly. Harry fumbled for his glasses on the bedside table and slipped them on.

Hermione, Ron and madam Pomfrey were gathered around his bed in the hospital wing. For once, Ron and Mione wasn't snogging each other's faces off which made a nice change.

"what happened? He asked, dreading the answer.

"well what do you remember?" asked Pomfrey gently, as she felt his forehead to check for a fever.

"well, I was sitting by the lake, teasing the giant squid as I like to do. I was about to start heading back when I heard a noise. Was about to go investigate when a werewolf came out of the forest and charged at me. As I was running a stone hit me on the head."

"oh, Harry! You shouldn't tease it. It has feelings too you know!" said Hermione reproachfully as Ron rolled his eyes behind her back.

"I know, I know," he replied, "but that's not important right now. What I want to know is- did the werewolf bite me?"

"yes, I'm sorry to say you were," said Pomfrey, "but there's no reason why you can't live a perfectly normal life, providing you take the wolfs bane potion before the full moon."

Harry gulped and looked down at his covers, refusing to look at anyone. He knew what she said wasn't completely true as he knew that Remus Lupin, as a known werewolf found it very hard to find work ever since that toad faced Umbridge woman had forced though that decree.

There was a awkward silence as no one knew what to say. Madam Pomfrey busied herself by rearranging his pillows, though he wished she wouldn't.

The door opened and everyone looked up as the headmaster walked in. He smiled at Harry, his eyes twinkling like mad.

"Harry! Glad to see you're awake! We thought for a while we'd lose you there!"

Harry frowned and said nothing, continuing looking at his bedcovers. He was just waiting to hear what will happen to him now that he's going to become a lethal blood thirsty monster once a month. That, and being reprimanded about picking fights with that bloody giant squid.

"I must say, if the student alarms hadn't of gone off, telling me one of the students were in danger, you'd have had it!" said Dumbledore, sounding almost gleeful at the prospect.

'_is it just me, or is he sounding a bit too cheerful about all this?' _Harry thought furiously.

"anyhow, when I found you, the werewolf took one sniff at me then ran off into the forest howling. I always knew eating all those lemon drops would pay off one day. It certainly makes up for the tooth decay!"

"er- professor? Can Ron and I go now? We'll be late for class." asked Hermione timidly.

"yes of course" answered Dumbledore, waving his hand airily, "off you trot."

"you don't mind, do you Harry?" asked Ron, getting up ready to go.

"No, I don't mind." he sighed.

"I'll pick up your homework for you" promised Hermione as she grabbed Ron's hand and skipped out the door, happy to escape from their strange, slightly insane headmaster.

"how long do I have to stay in the hospital wing, sir?" asked Harry, reluctantly looking up into Dumbledore's eyes.

"well I don't see any reason why you have to stay here any longer. You can leave as soon as you're dressed and I'd like to come to my office after breakfast as there's someone I'd like you to see."

"oh but headmaster- he needs his rest! He's just been though a very traumatic experience, the poor dear." cried Pomfrey.

"Don't worry Poppy- he'll be fine." replied Dumbledore gently. "you are feeling all right aren't you Harry?" he said, turning to face him.

"yeah, I'm fine" he said quickly.

"Well, I'm off now. Have lots of things to do…" said the headmaster, getting ready to leave. "I'll see you later."

"bye sir" Harry said, as Dumbledore hurried out of the room.

30 minutes later, Harry was washed, dressed, discovered a few flea bites- much to his annoyance and was finally ready to leave. It had taken him slightly longer then usual to get ready as his left leg was still feeling slightly sore, were the werewolf AKA flea bitten mutt had bitten him. He was just about to leave when Pomfrey stopped him, holding a large slab of chocolate.

"Don't forget your chocolate young man, or I'll have to stay here the rest of the day, no matter what the headmaster says!"

Harry rolled his eyes as he took the chocolate before heading out the door.

Author's note: hope you like the story so far, thank you to those people who reviewed. Any ideas for the story will be greatly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters- JK Rowling does. I am making NO. MONEY. WHATSOEVER from this story so please don't sue.**

**SUMMARY: Harry is not as he as he appears to be- in his 6th year (lets all pretend HBP doesn't exist) he is bitten by a werewolf. And just who this werewolf is, I hear you ask? Well, you'll just have to read to find out! Mahahahaha!**

"…" talking

'_thoughts'_

ANOTHER WEREWOLF STORY

CHAPTER THREE

Harry scoffed his chocolate on the way to the headmaster's office. Seeing as it took him so long to get ready, and the fact that he was given a large amount of chocolate, he decided to skip breakfast altogether.

Once he reached the statue, behind which, the headmaster's office was, Harry stopped. Due to the fact that the headmaster was deliriously happy when he last spoke to him, or possibly because the old coot seemed slightly unhinged, he wasn't told the latest password.

"lemon drop?" he asked tentatively.

The statue didn't move an inch.

"hmmm, ok. How about… cockroach cluster?" The statue still didn't move. "Bertie Botts every flavour beans?….. Chocolate buttons?….. Jelly babies?" the statue moved to the side to reveal the revolving staircase to the headmaster's office. _'jelly babies? The barmy old fruitcake sure likes his sweets.' _ these thoughts and more occupied Harry up the stairs to the office's door. He heard a number of voices inside as he knocked smartly on the door.

"come in" called Dumbledore. Harry walked into the room to see Severus Snape, Remus Lupin and of course the headmaster who Harry affectionately called 'the raving fruitcake' (but never to his face).

"pull up a chair." smiled Dumbledore gesturing towards the chair. Harry scowled as he walked across the room and sat down in the chair indicated. Was it just him, or was the old coot taking great delight out of his newfound awkward predicament?

"well, well. It looks like we have yet another mutt in our mists." smirked Snape, who looked like Christmas had come early.

"What are _you _doing here?" snarled Harry. Oh he knew full well the hooked nosed, slimy haired git would _never _let him hear the end of this.

"enough." said Albus sternly. Harry and Snape each gave the other a look of deepest disgust, before turning back to the headmaster.

Though all of this, Remus was remaining silent and thoughtful.

"Severus, you will be required to brew enough wolfs bane potion for two people until further notice. I want you go get started on that once you've finished teaching."

"Of course. I'll leave now as I'd better go teach those dunderheads. Knowing Malfoy, he's probably trying to drown Longbottom in his cauldron as we speak." Snape threw one last filthy look at Potter and Lupin before sweeping out of the room.

As soon as the door had shut Harry turned to Lupin. "why are you here?" he asked.

"The headmaster owled me as soon as he rescued you and got to the hospital wing." he replied, "As you were bitten, I was asked to stay for a while at hogwarts and help you come to terms with it. I'll also keep you company the first couple of times you transform."

Albus looked from one to the other, like he was watching a rather interesting tennis match, while getting a packet of magical jelly babies out of his desk drawer, before helping himself to one. Jelly babies were his favourite sweet at the moment, so he proceeded to bite its arms and legs off which had the jelly baby squealing blue murder.

"Harry?" asked Remus, waiting for a reply.

Harry tore his eyes away from the headmaster, who he had been watching in fascinated disgust, as he devoured the jelly baby. "er.. Yeah, I guess that'll be okay…"

"Good. Shall we go then? It's nearly lunchtime after all this talking and I'm sure Ron and Hermione are just dieing to find out what's been happening" suggested Lupin, giving Harry a wolfish grin.

"ok." said Harry getting up and opening the door to leave. "bye professor Dumbledore!"

"Hmm?" said the headmaster looking up from his sweets, "oh, yes. See you later."

As Remus and Harry descended down the revolving staircase they could still hear the jelly babies cry's of terror….

Author's note:  Well that's the third chappie out of the way. Review and let me know what you think, and where you reckon the story should go. I'm toying several ideas at the moment. One of which is of Harry getting loose at the full moon and going on a rampage.

Let me know what you think- I need reviews people!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks to all the people who have reviewed so far!**

ANOTHER WEREWOLF STORY

Chapter four

As Remus and Harry descended down the revolving staircase they could still hear the jelly babies cry's of terror….

AWSAWS

"So professor," began Harry as they made their way to the great hall , "what's the plan for today? Am I meant to attend my classes after lunch?"

"no Harry. The headmaster wishes you and I to repair the shrieking shack."

"but why? I didn't know it was damaged" said a bewildered Harry.

"it got damaged in the last storm, so we need to reinforce it before the end of the month".

"oh". Harry gulped. He didn't want to think about _that _ so he quickened his pace into the great hall and practically ran over to the gryindor table and sat down to Ron and Hermione, who at that moment were engaged in a fierce tonsil tennis match.

'_Well, goodbye to you too!' _thought Remus, faintly irritated, making his way to the teachers table and sitting down to eat.

"Hey Harry!" said Ginny, who was sitting opposite him, "what was you in the hospital wing for this time?"

"erm… how did you know I was in there?" asked Harry, trying for time. _'oh fuck! What am I gonna say? Think, Harry, think!'_

"Ron told me," she said, shrugging, " so come on, tell me what you were in for this time."

"er… fleabites." Harry said, saying the first thing that popped into his head.

"Fleabites?" asked Ginny, raising an eyebrow.

"yeah, turns out I'm highly allergic."

"oh right" said Ginny, giving him a 'you can't fool me' kind of look.

'_Nice going(!)' _Harry thought to himself angrily, before helping himself to some food.

AWSAWS

Later that afternoon, Harry found himself standing in front of the shrieking shack nailing planks of wood on the building _without _the help of magic. According to Remus, who was supervising instead of helping, this manual labour will help Harry work out his anger and tire him out so he will be able to sleep better tonight. This, in Harry's opinion was total bollocks.

Three hours later, along with several splinters, Harry was finally done. He looked over to Remus, who was sitting on the grass leaning his back against a nearby tree looking extremely bored. "you, know, it'd have been done a lot faster if you helped, or let me use magic!" snapped Harry crossly. Not only his many splinters needed attending too, but now his fleabites were starting to itch like mad. _'Maybe I'm allergic after all….' _He thought crossly, _'That'd be all I need!' _

Remus sighed as he slowly got to his feet, before dusting himself down. "You do realise I'm on your side, and only trying to help. I don't appreciate you biting my head off!"

"sorry," mumbled Harry, "I'm just being ratty because I'm tired".

"lets head back then shall we? It's getting late and you need your rest." Remus said gently. The duo walked back to the castle in silence. Neither really knew what to say to the other, so it was a relief when they arrived at the castle and went their separate ways.

AWSAWS

Meanwhile, a large filthy man, with yellowed pointy teeth, and long hair and beard which was dirty and matted was entering the old Riddle mansion. He made his way into a dark, room, where the only light came from the fire, crackling merrily in the grate. There was a large chair facing the fire with a fat little man with ratty little eyes standing next to the chair nervously.

"M' lord, it has been done. The boy has been bitten as planned." The stranger bowed his head respectfully as a tall pale _thing _got out of the chair and walked around it so he was facing him. The man had evil red eyes and slits for a nose and looked somewhat snakelike.

"And what of Dumbledore?" Lord Voldemort asked.

"I ran away. The smell of sweets was overwhelming, and as you know, I'm a diabetic. If I had bitten the old fool, it'd have sent my blood sugar through the roof."

"No matter. You bit the boy according to plan. You have done well, Greyback. This has pleased me greatly."

"M' lord, what now?" asked Fenir Greyback, boldly.

"For now, we wait." Voldemort replied.

**Author's note: **Hope you liked the chappie! please make my day and review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I wish I did though…..**

"talking"

'_thoughts'_

ANOTHER WEREWOLF STORY

Chapter 5

Harry woke up the next morning to Ron throwing a pillow in his face yelling, "Get up!" before running out the room giggling away.

'_fucking Ron….. It's just as well he left giggling like a girl, or I'd have hexed him. God. I'm so not a morning person….' _Harry dragged himself out of bed and got dressed in a haphazard kind of way, trying to put his robes on inside out. '_Damn' _thought Harry when he realised his mistake, and hurriedly put everything on the right way round before heading down to the common room.

When he got there, he found the common room empty except from Ron who was currently glued to Hermione's face.

"Morning guys!" said Harry, trying to catch their attention. "Hello?" he said, raising his voice slightly.

There was no sign at all that the two had heard him or were even aware that Harry was in the room at all.

'_Fuck it'_ thought Harry, getting irritated by his friends lack of response. "Hey you two- I'll see you later. I'm going to go grab some breakfast."

There was no reply, so Harry shrugged and made his way out of the portrait hole and down to the great hall for some food.

Down in the great hall, Harry was just tucking in to a nice big plate of pancakes, dripping in maple syrup, when Ron and Hermione finally made an appearance.

"Hiya Harry! We didn't see you come down!" said Hermione, rather breathlessly, as she pulled a plate of toast towards her.

Harry just rolled his eyes in elastration, and worked his way through his breakfast, before heading to class, not noticing the potions master hurrying past clutching his left forearm….

AWSAWSAWS

Meanwhile, in the Riddle Manor, ol' snake face was calling a meeting.

"Welcome, my… 'faithful' followers. I have hatched such a cunning plan that will surely not fail, and finally rid me of my thorn in my side, my fly in my soup, I am of course referring to Harry Potter."

"What is your plan, if I may be so bold to ask, milord?" asked Snape, stepping forward. This was all he bloody well needed. Having to foil the dark lord's plans while not making it look like he was the one behind it, was not something he relished.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed and his wand arm twitched as if he was considering using the Cruciatus curse on Snape for daring to speak during his hastily put together speech.

The dark lord's wand lowered slightly, and Snape sighed in relief, and Voldemort started talking again.

"well, my oh so cunning plan, could not have worked without my faithful servant, Greyback."

'_Come on, get on with it…'_ thought Snape.

At that praise, Greyback stepped forward, a wolfish grin on his grubby face, while absentmindedly scratching his dirty matted head.

Voldemort raised an eyebrow at this, but carried on regardless, "Greyback here has bitten the Potter brat-"

At this news the crowd of death eaters cheered, while Greyback began scratching in earnest.

"WILL YOU STOP SCRATCHING?" Voldie shouted, "Cruico!"

As Greyback was writhing under the curse, he was still unbelievably scratching. After a few minutes the curse was lifted and at once the werewolf struggled to his feet, "I'm sorry master- I've got fleas" he said with an apologetic smile.

Voldemort was seriously considering torturing him some more, but decided to let it go, just this once. Besides he had a headache coming on and just wanted to have a nap before settling down to some serious plotting. "Deatheaters, dismissed. I will continue this another time."

There was an audible sigh of relief as the death eaters started to head out the door to the apparition point, no one trying to look too eager to leave.

'_Great! Just great- this has been a useless waste of a meeting- what am I supposed to tell Albus? That Greyback has fleas? Grrr!' _ thought Snape furiously as he followed the Deatheaters out of the room.

"Wormtail and Greyback stay behind" called Voldemort.

Peter cringed inwardly, having to stay behind didn't mean anything good. Besides, being in close proximity of that fleabag made him feel itchy all over.

Once Wormtail and Greyback were standing in front of their master, and the last death eater filed out of the room, Voldemort raised his wand. The two Deatheaters braced themselves for the Cruciatus curse, but it didn't come.

"Fleaus Spayus" Voldemort said as he flicked his wand- and conquered a can of flea spay. He then threw it to Wormtail, which hit him on the head, before falling onto the floor.

"Wormtail- I want you to deflea Greyback here. I trust you know what will happen if you don't…" he trailed off.

Wormtail gulped. "Yes master…" he answered, before quickly picking up the flea spay.

Voldemort headed out of the room to head to his private chambers where he could have a well deserved rest.

"I'm so going to bite you at the next full moon you know." said Greyback as he was being spayed by the vile smelling flea spay.

"I know" replied a tearful, quivering Wormtail, the can of spay was shaking so violently Greyback got accidentally spayed in the eyes.

"AAARRGGGHHH!"

Voldemort smiled evilly in his sleep. Oh how he enjoyed frightening Wormtail….

AWSAWSAWS

Snape made his way leisurely back to the castle to report his deatheater meeting to the headmaster. He stumbled into Albus' office as he had gone to the Three Broomsticks first for a drink or five.

"Honey- I'm home!" called a very pissed Snape.

The headmaster who was sitting at his desk torturing jelly babies looked up in shock. "Oh my poor boy- what has that monster done to you? It looks like a befuddlement charm to me…"

"He didn't do fuck all," slurred Snape, " I'm pissed, alright?"

"I of course knew that." replied the headmaster, tossing Snape a hangover potion from the top drawer of his desk. " I was merely testing you…."

Snape drunk the potion down and was instantly sober, as well as slightly ashamed for swearing in front Dumbledore. "How come you had a hangover potion handy?" he asked suspiciously.

"I have to keep a supply in for Fawkes, he insists on going out on the razzle every Friday night with a couple of alcoholic school barn owls. Apparently they fly over to the Hogs Head- they can get served there."

"Why don't you just let him suffer with the hangovers? It's teach the overgrown chicken a lesson."

"I tried that- it don't work. He kept falling of his perch and flying into walls. The last straw was when he set fire to my desk which burnt my new supply of sweeties."

Snape tried his best not to snigger at this revelation.

"Anyway, enough talk about my alcoholic familiar. Tell me what happened at the meeting."

"Well apart from being able to confirm that it was indeed Voldemort who sent Greyback to bite Potter, there's really nothing else that I found out."

"Oh really?" asked Dumbledore, looking slightly disappointed, "Nothing else at all?"

"Well I did find out something concerning Greyback- he's got fleas." smirked Snape.

"Hmm. Ok I'll have to have Harry checked for fleas- we can't have him giving them to the students pets, now can we?"

Snape smiled in glee. "Can I leave now headmaster? It's getting late and I would like to rest before the morning."

"Of course my dear boy- off you trot." replied Dumbledore who was now looking at something out the window.

"What on earth are you looking at?" asked Snape , walking nearer the window to see what had the headmaster's attention.

There was a fiery blur moving haphazardly through the sky heading right for that very window.

"Is that Fawkes?" he asked, squinting his eyes.

"Yes I do believe it is…" sighed Albus, "I nearly forgot it was Friday."

Before Snape could reply to that, Fawkes flew into the room, via the window and hit the wall opposite with an audible thud, before passing out.

Snape walked out the room- he didn't want to be there when a grumpy Fawkes woke up.

Authors note: It's taken me AGES to update, I was suffering from writer's block, but have no fear- the muse is back yelling in my ear. Please review and tell me what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I'd be rolling around on a bed of £50 notes. sigh**

"talking"

'_thoughts'_

ANOTHER WEREWOLF STORY

Chapter 6

Harry was pissed off. Really pissed off. The days had flew past full of classes, homework and avoiding Lupin, who kept tracking him down to ask him to have tea with him so he could _'_talk about his feelings'. It also didn't help that he had been summoned to the hospital wing to be checked for fleas, either. Still, at least he no longer felt itchy, which was a relief.

The full moon was only a few days away and Harry was dreading it and it didn't help when everyone who knew about his new ahem condition kept asking him if he was ok, and in the case of Dumbledore voicing that he was sure Harry would make a very fine werewolf indeed, and he'll have to fight the female werewolves off with a large stick.

Currently, Harry was hiding up in the shrieking shack. He figured no one would try looking for him here anytime soon. It was quite nice there in the shack, now it was repaired it was no longer drafty but it still smelt of old leaves.

Harry had a good look around the place. It was just one big room which held a rather battered bookcase with only a couple of books still intact, as the rest were torn apart. Harry bent down to pick one up. It was torn so badly, that Harry couldn't make out the title. There was teeth marks all over it and dried drool.

'_Eww- wolfie slobber!' _he thought, before dropping the book in disgust. He continued walking around the room, past the sofa with half the stuffing ripped out, past the bed which was covered in dog hair and stopped in front of a drinks cabinet. The reason he stopped was for one thing, and one thing only- it was warded. '_drat!'_

Harry whipped out his wand and made short work of the wards, as he wasn't called The Boy Who Lived for nothing, you know.

With the wards dealt with, he opened the cabinet to find fire whiskey. Several bottles of the stuff! As well as a potion vial which had a note taped to it which said 'emergency only'.

Now Harry had always wanted to try fire whiskey, so he helped himself to a bottle, figuring that the owner of the whiskey wouldn't begrudge him a bottle or two as long as he wouldn't tell. Harry took the lid off and drank straight from the bottle, it burned in the back of his throat, but after a couple more swallows, he decided he quite liked the stuff.

AWSAWSAWS

Fawkes had finally made his escape from Albus' office. After he had came round from crashing into the wall, he had to endure a hour long lecture on how alcohol is bad, and how disappointed Albus was with him. To add insult to injury, Albus said he would have to suffer with the hangover as his potion was given to Snape.

Fawkes was not very happy to hear that. He made a note to poop on Snape the next chance he got, as well as possibly setting his trousers on fire.

Fawkes flew into Hogsmeade and arrived at the shrieking shack. He looked round quickly to check the coast was clear before disappearing in a flash of fire and appearing inside the shack.

AWSAWSAWS

Harry looked up from his second bottle of whiskey to see Fawkes appear in front of him.

'_Oh shit…! I'm in trouble now!'_ thought Harry, before saying aloud, "Er.. hi Fawkes. Fancy seeing you here…"

The bird's eyes narrowed as he saw the boy had been drinking _his _whiskey. The nerve!

"You'd better replace those!" Fawkes said crossly.

Harry gaped in shock. "I must have drunk too much," he muttered almost to himself, "I swear Fawkes just spoke to me…"

"I can talk. Oh and shut your mouth- you'll catch flys"

"How come you've never spoken to me before?" asked Harry in bewilderment.

"Because I had nothing to say." replied the phoenix simply. "So how about passing a bottle over here?"

Harry gave a small smile and chucked a bottle over, before drinking from the already opened bottle. _'If only everyone could see me now- getting pissed with an overgrown chicken!' _Harry couldn't help but laugh at the craziness of the situation.

AWSAWSAWS

Meanwhile up at the castle, Lupin was sniffing Harry out. As the full moon was so close, his senses were heightened. Albus had got Lupin to help out as soon as Hermione and Ron had rushed to inform him that Harry had not been seen all day.

So far, the 'Harry trail' had lead him out into Hogsmeade and towards the Shrieking Shack. As he hurried closer, he heard a loud crash. Sending caution to the wind, Remus apparated inside to find Harry having an argument with the sofa, while Fawkes was singing 'I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair' and the floor covered in empty bottles of fire whiskey.

"Oh. My. God." exclaimed Remus at the sight. "Harry- you shouldn't be drinking at your age!" He then turned to the phoenix who was staggering about on the floor before tripping over a empty bottle and falling over. "Fawkes- I'm telling Albus on you!"

"Aah fuck off!" slurred the bird from the floor.

Remus just raised a eyebrow as the phoenix, before grabbing Harry by the scuff of his robes and dragging him out of the shack.

"Hey! Let me go! I can walk perfectly well on my own!" shouted Harry.

"Ok then, just no making a getaway." warned Remus before letting go.

Harry immediately fell on to the lawn and held onto the grass for dear life.

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Remus in amusement.

"I don't want to fall off the earth." he answered back pitifully.

Remus grabbed Harry and pulled him to his feet. "Come on- we're never going to get back at this rate."

Eventually the duo made it more or less safe and sound back to the castle with Harry complaining every now and then that a strange pink elephant was following him.

Remus frogmarched the drunken teen to the hospital wing where a very cross Madam Pomfrey made him lay down on a spare bed, while Remus fire called Dumbledore. The headmaster arrived shortly after and he didn't look a very happy bunny.

"I'm sorry.." started Harry before the headmaster raised a hand to silence him.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Harry." Albus said gravely. "As punishment you are to go without the hangover potion. Hopefully, it will make you think twice in future."

Harry looked away in shame to the bed next to him where the pink elephant was sitting, pulling faces and blowing raspberries at him.

"I understand sir" Harry pulled his eyes away from the pink elephant who had jumped up from the bed and was now doing cartwheels round the hospital wing to look directly at the headmaster. "It won't happen again, I swear."

"Make sure it doesn't." replied Dumbledore, "Now excuse me, I have to go fetch Fawkes, who I believe is still laying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, too drunk to fly…"

When Albus left, Madam Pomfrey looked disapprovingly at Harry, before conquering a pint glass of ice cold water onto Harry's side table, then walking off into her office, leaving him alone with his professor.

"Take small sips" said Lupin calmly, nodding at the water.

Harry picked it up and had a few mouthfuls, before setting it down again. Getting pissed was thirsty work.

"I'm so sorry" Harry mumbled, as his eyes started drooping.

"Go to sleep." Remus said, helping Harry to settle comfortably back onto the pillows. As soon as Harry was fast asleep, Remus headed out of the hospital wing to go reassure Harry's friends that he has been found.

Authors note: Okay, another chappie is out the way. I just couldn't resist putting in the pink elephant lol!

Please read and review.


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